10 Things Everybody In Stockport Needs To Know

If you don't know at least 5 of these already then you are not a true Stockport Resident, should pack your bags and move away

1) It takes 30,000 litres of paint and 5 months to complete painting the White Cliffs of Dover

2) Every 48 seconds a UK citizen disappears in IKEA and is never seen again.

3) When someone bumps into you and it clearly wasn't you fault, it is your duty to apologise

4) A Brexit is when you exit a restaurant without paying for your breakfast

5) It's mandatory to learn how to queue other wise you fail your GCSEs in the UK.

6) All British born children must be proficient with a kettle and tea spoon by the age of 1 or face abandonment

7) Approximately 500 000 tourists die each year after failing to mind the gap between the train and the platform

8) The English civil war was actually about whether you add milk first or after the tea

9) Statues have been banned in Britain for 165 years after a 500 person queue formed behind one in 1852. 3 people died.

10) If you say 'right' before you announce you're leaving an occasion you get teleported to your next destination


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