1. I heart cock fighting.
Oh Early. You love COCK...fighting do you? This needs no explanation at all. :)
2. I don't Netflix and chill. I VHS and f**k!!
Early kicks it old school and gets the job done with all the fine lady squids. No messing. Just straight up booty.
3. Hold my hat while I have sex with your wife.
Early the smooth talking charmer he is. Subtle as a baseball bat to the balls.
4. Squid Firebird logo
The Firebird is one of the ultimate redneck goals in life. If you have one then all the lady squids are gonna want to ride with you. This is the squid version of that famous car logo.
5. Guns don't kill people. They just make it easy.
Early lending his understated support to the right to bear arms. Well he does have more arms than most of us...
6. Here's the beef.
A play on the old Wendy's ad for "Where's the beef?" But it also gets Early the attention of the lady squids once again. Any who might be looking for HIS beef. Smooth dude.
7. Honey I'd suck the fart out of your car seat.
It's such a hard choice between James Bond and Early Cuyler when it comes to the charming one liners used to get women into the sack. I think Early wins based on this touching offer.